What happens when two reality shows collide?

Did you ever notice how most of the b-list reality TV shows (Blind Date, the Fifth Wheel, et al) seem to be taped in LA? Part of the reason is that a handful of local production companies are responsible for many of the dating reality shows. But I also believe that the shows are based here to capitalize on the hordes of wannabe celebs. Notice I say wannabe celebs, and not wannabe actors. Trust me, a lot of these people don't want to act. They just want to be recognized on the street. A few friends of mine are guilty of having bounced around and appeared on several of those aforementioned dating shows. I always tape their episodes so that I have something to laugh about when they come over.

I've had reality shows on my mind a lot lately, partly because my latest guilty pleasure is the Bravo program Being Bobby Brown. I've seen some really scathing reviews of this show, calling it the most appalling thing on reality television, yada yada yada. I don't understand why it's so upsetting to so many critics. I see Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston as being the ultimate ghetto couple. If anything, the show proves both that (a) their relationship is a real one and (b) Whitney is in fact the crazy one, not Bobby. I called the wise Evelyn Powers the other night to get her feedback on the show. Her assessment was better than anything I've seen in print anywhere:

"They're behaving like they don't realize they're being filmed."

What an illuminating comment. Thanks mom. I think she nailed the current state of reality television in that one sentence. Reality television has become a career option for many people. Don't quite have what it takes to be an actor? Hit the reality television circuit. Don't have the chops to launch a singing career? Spend some time in the Real World house to prove you are worthy of stardom (or at least worthy of appearing on numerouse Battle of the Sexes shows). That's why, with only the slightest bit of effort, it's possible to find many of the same people showing up on numerous reality shows. Appearing on as many shows as possible is seen as a gateway to a career. Today's Blind Date reject is tomorrow's Bachelor. Tomorrow's Bachelor reject is next week's Average Joe hunk. So of course, whether they'll admit it or not, EVERYONE on reality TV shows are acting to a certain extent. They have to play to the camera...their wannabe careers depend on it. That's why Being Bobby Brown is so equally enthralling and horrifying...they really don't seem to be acting in the least.

We're far enough along in the reality show epoch that many of these shows are in syndication. This is great, because it provides a wonderful opportunity to compare and contrast. For example, I caught a rerun of Growing Up Gotti the other day. It was the first episode I had ever seen (honestly). In it, materfamilias Victoria threw a dinner party for her boss. Among the invitees were New York PR maven Lizzie Grubman. Now, unless I'm mistaken, doesn't Grubman have her own reality television show on MTV? This begs the question...when two people being followed by reality show crews (on different networks) interact, how do they decide whose crew gets to document their interactions? Is there some kind of reality show protocol? Is there a heirarchy, or is it decided by rock, paper, scissors? How cool would it be for Bobby Brown to be partying on his show, then get crazy drunk, try to drive home, and get pulled over by the crew from Cops? Then he could end up in Judge Joe Brown's court! It's delicious possibilities like these that put a smile on my face.

I'll end this post with a reality show tidbit, courtesy of one of my nephews, who flew out to California once to appear on Judge Joe Brown (I couldn't talk him out of it):

Did you know that court reality shows (e.g. The People's Court) agree in advance to pay for whatever judgement is meted out? That's right. If you agree to go on the show to dispute some amount of money you owe, the show will simply pay the amount of the judgement if you lose. Basically, by having the producers pay the settlement amount, you're agreeing to let the judge insult you on television. That explains why so many defendents take those tongue lashings with a smile on their faces.